The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
