I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
