But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Watching her eat just hurts me
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
