you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
