I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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