Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
