Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
last night I used snow as a chaser
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
