you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
