sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
