And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
