This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
