I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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