somebody snuck up and got me drunk
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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