she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
