Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just forgot I was standing up.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
