Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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