Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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