There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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