Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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