He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
