just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
