jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
What a dumb baby whore.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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