I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
My vagina just recognized that song.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
