At least make sure they are 18
Why
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Sorry about my life...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
