Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
did you just send me my own nude
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
