When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
