Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
