Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
