i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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