All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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