Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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