Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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