if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
