I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
