Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
