Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
