I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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