she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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