Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She even gives head with a lisp.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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