Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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