I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
