Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
