i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Randomize
