Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
