I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
