Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
