I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
how does that bad decision feel?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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