We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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