I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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