Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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