Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
